Lisa's blog post. I didn't know about mom or Brenda. but Mom feeling his presence comforts me. of course she misses him the most.

I'm jealous. I know you shouldn't be jealous of people. But I am. And the people I'm jealous of are relatives.

My older sister just posted on her blog that both she and my niece have had dreams about dad lately. In addition, she has sensed his presence as she falls asleep. My other sister had at least one dream about dad right after he died. My mom said the night he died when she went to bed she felt a hand on her thigh, like dad always did when he went to bed to make sure she was ok.

I haven't dreamed about dad, except for daydreams. He hasn't visited me while I was asleep or drifting off to sleep to comfort me. And I'm a little jealous.

Of course I know if there are ghosts I won't see any. It's like my friend Sherry told me after I went on a tour of the old Missouri state penitentiary. She asked if I saw any ghosts and I told her no, as I went on a bright sunny day. She replied that you can see ghosts anytime, day or night - you just have to be open to them. And I'm not open to them.

So, I guess I'll just have to daydream about my beloved daddy. It's still hard to believe he's been gone 15 months. It gets easier every day but it's still not easy. I got to where I didn't cry at church when we sing one of the songs from his memorial service (I can't sing along but I can listen and not cry). Then, the last time we sang the song my friend Cari stood at the front of the church and signed the song ... and the tears started flowing.